The Journey to Now
I’ve debated whether or not to actually publish this post, but after a lot of back and forth in my head, I decided to do so. Why? Because this journey that we have been on for the last 3.5 years has shaped me into becoming the person that I am today. Along with that, I think it’s helpful for people to get to know a bit about me on a personal level in order to appreciate me and my work as a photographer.
A couple of weeks ago, Danny and I had our own photo session with the fabulous Jenny GG Photography to document this moment in our lives. (The photos in this post were all taken by Jenny…Check out more of her work here.)
I know, I know…some of you may think that getting maternity photos taken is silly or trite. But, to us? It was a necessary step in documenting our life together. You see, getting pregnant for us didn’t just happen overnight (or when we just relaxed, or while on vacation, or after praying really hard, or after trying it “this” way…all of which were suggested to us (and I won’t lie, all were tried)).
Our journey started out like that of many…we’d decided to take the next step towards starting our own family. And, let me tell ya – the perfectionist in me was gonna be really good at this whole “getting pregnant” thing!! Funny how life has other plans for you. About 6 months later, we were in fact diagnosed with infertility. For whatever reason, this diagnoses is one that isn’t talked about much in the public world. (Don’t even get me started on the issue that really the only public examples of infertility are that of Jon & Kate Gosselin and “Octomom” Nadya Suleman…For the record, they are not the “standard” of comparison and just because someone is struggling with infertility does not mean they get pregnant with 8 babies nor will they get their own reality show.).
But surprisingly, about 1 out of every 6 couples will experience infertility in some form or another.
Throughout this journey, we have definitely faced an extreme roller coaster of emotions. Ranging all across the board with denial, bitterness, anger, fear, sadness, jealousy, seclusion, hope, disappointment, hopelessness, faith, courage, & strength. You name it – we felt it!
It was during this struggle that I really dove into my passion for photography head first. It has always been a passion of mine, but during this time it provided me with an outlet, a creative place to go with my camera and not have to think about the fact that we were struggling to get pregnant. At the same time, I am able to document milestones and memories for other families that they will be able to look back on and cherish.
When we finally made the decision to pursue our desire to become parents with the help of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) – that added a whole ‘nother roller coaster that we would soon be going through (not to mention what it would do to my body and our finances!). Yes, in a matter of 3 weeks, I gave myself (or rather, Danny gave me) 67 injections. That doesn’t include the blood draws or the acupuncture I did during the whole process, either. These injections came with some pretty heavy side effects. But, as you can see from the photos…we are one of the lucky ones! IT WORKED! When the doctor called to tell us we were pregnant… we couldn’t believe it!!
We’d waited 3 years for those words and to finally hear them was surreal.
A few weeks later, we found out that we were pregnant with TWINS!! A few weeks after that we found out that we’d lost one of them and were no longer pregnant with twins. The bright side? We were still pregnant!
So yeah, to sum it up… we struggled to get pregnant. It happens. It sucked. But, in the end – we are lucky. It could have been worse. So many people will go through multiple rounds of IVF and never get to experience a positive result. Other couples practically just look at each other and get pregnant – and without even realizing it they can take for granted what a miracle the entire process really is.
To say I wouldn’t change the path we had to take to get here would be a bit of a lie, but I will say that I know that because of this experience… We have become much stronger as a couple, fell more in love with each other and we will be BETTER PARENTS for having gone through all that we have.
We will cherish every moment and not take for granted the little things…for it’s those little things in life we usually look back on and realize they were the big things!
We are soooo excited for the next step in our journey together and to meet our little Kylie Grace ~
She is loved so much already – I can’t even fathom what it will be like once she is here!
(Thanks again to Jenny GG for capturing our love and our hard-earned belly bump!)
They are keeping us on our toes every day!